I would be a good staff member because my friend used X-Ray once, so I installed killaura to get rid of him for you. I've also never been banned (except that one time, but that was an accident). I also heard you offer Obsidian rank perks to staff which means I could show off to my friends use /fly to find and report hackers much easier! Try to imagine me as a Spy Plane during the Cold War, except instead of detecting shady missile-related business, I'm detecting cheaters who have yet to be brought before the wonderful hammer of justice.
You think your staff team is good? Imagine it with me by their side, guiding and teaching the moderators how to more efficiently find cheaters to punish. See, I actually plan to do one-to-one mentoring for each of the moderators. I think it'll be a nice touch, having them learn from a master. I have, after all, accumulated a total of twenty-three successful reports over my many days on this magnificent server. My friends are often made jealous by this astonishing figure, because combined, Ron and Samantha have only reported six people, and they've been playing longer than I have!
I have a lot of experience under my figurative belt (though, in real life I don't wear belts because the XL-sized clothes from Primark are a tight fit). For example, I often leave my Smash Bros icon hovering over the 'Customs' option in the top-right corner of the character select screen, as a threat to anybody who tries to turn custom characters on. I am a very scary person when I need to be, which I think would be a good strength to have in games like Assassins. If somebody tried to kill me hack against me for example, I could threaten to ban their entire family with the click of my fingers. That'll make them stop in a jiffy!
My dad is friends with somebody at Mojang, so I know a lot about the game. I have this really good strategy for PvP that'll weed out all the hackers. Basically, I sit atop a roof with a bow, and just shoot at people until they get angry enough to expose their hacks. I know your staff team are good and all, but I doubt they're as smart as me, who has an impressive 152 IQ, so they've probably never thought to do this before. This is why you should hire me. Honestly, I think I might literally be the best person in the world at this game. This kid the other day was hacking, and I killed them despite only having iron armour. I would rate your staff team an 8/10 at best, but with me teaching them how to do their jobs a little bit better, I think we might be able to bring the staff team up to a 10/10.
I don't charge anything for my services by the way, unlike most of the greedy applicants you see on a daily basis. It disgusts me to see people charging actual money for this kind of service. It's a pleasure for me to be able to teach your staff team all they need to know to be as smart and as strong as I am when it comes to block-based games.
Oh, and my friend is Pewdiepie and he's asking if he can have the YouTuber rank. Obviously you're not going to say no to Peeeeeewdiepieeeeee, so just apply the rank to 'HotStuff42'. Thanks for your time, and I hope the staff team don't feel too bad when I get accepted. It must be hard knowing you're only second best, but please let them know that there's no shame in being second to me. I have, after all, inherited my intelligence from two parents who share a combined IQ of 404. In fact, they say it's the excessive intelligence that's made my skin so pale in recent years.
Thanks,
-HotStuff42
Edit: Wow, people really love/hate arrogant me. I should make HotStuff42 an official Sophie persona :3
