Hello there. I’m not good at expressing myself so I’ll get straight to the point. I have a problem, and that problem is the fact that I lose a vast majority of games I play on Cubecraft, or any other server for that matter. Due to my lack of ability, I have no friends or anyone to look up to or support me, as a rule of thumb for Minecraft servers in general is that friendships depend on skill, which I have already stated that I do not have and hence I have no friends. I have been on Cubecraft for roughly four years now and no matter how hard I try or how much time passes, I don’t seem to get anywhere. The games that I do ‘win’ are due to me riding the coattails of those who can actually accomplish something. It saddens me that, even after four years of experience, I am pushed aside and trampled by anyone and everyone, even though I am giving it my all. As a few of you may know, I was badly treated by a sizeable segment of the Hypixel community for three of my four years due to this lack of skill, which they viewed as comical. I’d wake up to people humiliating me in the lobbies, stalking me to other games and killing me over and over in ways that burned me with shame. Any staff which might have been present just stood and watched rather than helping me as they were supposed to. Cubecraft is the only place I feel safe. But as more and more people surpass me, and the community becomes more and more toxic, I worry a repeat of my past experiences will occur. My self esteem is at rock bottom. I struggle to find the will to even try to play games, as I constantly have a voice in the back of my head which tells me that I’m no good enough or that I’ll just fail again and humiliate myself. I want to be independent. I want to stand on my own two feet and be able to prove myself. I want to be able to defend myself at least. And I don’t know how to do that. Due to having no friends, I’ve had to figure out possible solutions on my own, and all have done nothing for me. This is where I need your assistance. I need advice on how to improve my skill. Do I need to join a Clan for peer to peer tutorage and protection? Do I need to do something else? Should I just give up entirely? I don’t know and I think that people who are worth a damn like yourselves do. So please, I need your advice. And yes, I know that I sound like a martyr, and you have no reason to believe what I say, but you can only take my word that everything I am saying is truthful, and my apologies that I cannot express myself well.