sup losers, you think you're all so good in eggwars HUH!? well guess what! today i will show you how REAL pros play the game!!
Step #1
So lets start with the kit you should pick, a lot of people like using the shell cracker or the money bags kit, there are some great kits cubecraft has given us but you!? You're gonna be different! you ARE different! you like the way the way the egg armor looks on you but don't worry about the fact that its only 4 iron to get the same thing! you're gonna look so INTIMIDATING your opponents won't even TRY to kill you!
but hey what about the rabbit kit! hell yeah! now i know what you're thinking: "but earth you cant choose that kit that kit is for noobs!" you see, you cant be a noob if you're a freaking pro... but who cares i mean look at this kit its got 3 carrots and a useful potion, maybe one of those carrots gives you a special effect, nobody knows it hasn't ever happened or anything but this kit, this kit is YOUR kit man, it's the kit that YOU were BORN to choose.
But hey if none of thse get your games going there is ALWAYS the healer. "oh boy i need to heal better throw that lingering potion on the ground and hope the enemy wont notice it and wont run through it"
and finally if you want a kit to match your "PvP" name, your tryhard skin, your aggresive behaviour and your parents disappointment, PLEASE use this one.
step #2
see, most people think that teamwork and sharing diamonds is they key to winning eggwars games. they're amateurs. your ONLY focus should be on diamonds. just stare at the diamonds, love the diamonds, BECOME THE DIAMONDS like you are a 9 year old kid that builds everything out of diamonds on MCPE because "it's the best item so if i build my house out of it im gonna look cool". working about making plays and breaking eggs? thats for losers! and if you see your teammate breaking an egg with a diamond pickaxe, make sure you walk infront of him before he can mine it. because he's gonna **** it up and i know this, you know this, he knows this, so do everybody a favour and walk infront of him before he can mine it. just play like you're the only good player on that team, because, let's be honest, you probably are the only good player on that team...
step #3
"you see, once in a while, arrows will soar through the air in all of their glories, taking to the skies like an EAGLE, sometimes mistaken for a plane or superman. when the arrows are zipping through the clouds they're calling your name, they're saying: "play with us child, play with us forever in dreamland" they beckon you and you must not let the arrows down for the arrows are omnipotent and the arrows are omnipresent" -earth, new eggwars testament.
so that's what you're gonna do! never ask if your dream is obtainable. just purchase a bow and some arrows, when ever the arrows are calling your name. when @rubik_cube_man added the bow & arrows in eggwars in 2015, he didn't ask if it was possible, he just DID IT
so when the arrows are in the air and EVERYONE is already geared more than you are, you are gonna JUST DO IT! Always buy a bow when the arrows are in the air.
and if you don't have enough diamonds when the arrows are in the air, you must go to the villager, and you must BELIEVE that you can buy that bow & arrow.
step #4
do you know those toxic players you see once in a while?
trust me, they would be INCREDIBLE at eggwars. eggwars is 10% skill and making plays, but it is 90% intimidation. Constantly be a butthurt arse in the chat. teammates, opponent, the freaking owner, it doesn't matter, Always give them the crap they deserve.
if somebody fails an easy opportunity to break an egg, you're gonna give them "nice job breaking that egg <swearword>"
if somebody fails to protect the egg, you're gonna give them "good job on saving that egg <swearword>"
if YOU fail to protect the egg save you're gonna somehow blame it on your teammates!
and if you fail to protect the egg in solo, you're gonna somehow blame it on cubecraft!
you will roast everybody like the pigs that gave birth to them. if you have a ping over 8ms? talk about cubecraft literally being the WORST SERVER EVER and needs to buy premium serverspace in your moms basement, or you're gonna leave this server forever. trust me, they'll listen!
just remember, the chat is YOUR local dump and it is YOUR responsibility to provide the disgusting garbage
UH OH IT'S TIME FOR THE FIRE ROUND IT'S TIME TO MENTION A LOT OF THINGS REAL FAST THAT'LL MAKE YOU THE BEST AT EGGWARS!
#1: fail to protect the egg against a naked guy!
#2: skip leather in OP mode and try to get diamonds at mid, naked!
#3: join a game and go afk!
#4: actually enjoy the map campersdasea!
#5: refuse to listen to teammates!
#6: think your egg armour leather is better than prot 5 leather in OP mode!
#7: fight with an axe in OP mode!
#8: get a bow early game!
#9: do nothing the entire game and eliminate that one team that eliminated all other teams for you last!
#10: hog the generators!
#11: refuse to help your team!
#12: fall of a bridge when you are full iron!
#13: get spleefed in the most Obvious way possible!
#14: be that guy that keeps destroying bridges! because everyone knows thats useful!
or if you really wanna be a piece of crap, like you really, REALLY wanna be the biggest piece of crap: be that one guy that does nothing the entire game and tries to get full diamond while you and your friend are struggling to beat that last team and come "help" on the last split second you eliminated the last guy.
so that's it guys, you need to follow this guide step by step if you wanna be the best eggwars player there ever was.
and oh my god, please like, fav and subscribe :OO
disclaimer: this thread is made for FUN and is 100% sarcasm, any comments saying "but i play like that and you make FUN OF IT!?" stuff like that, will be ignored.
Step #1
So lets start with the kit you should pick, a lot of people like using the shell cracker or the money bags kit, there are some great kits cubecraft has given us but you!? You're gonna be different! you ARE different! you like the way the way the egg armor looks on you but don't worry about the fact that its only 4 iron to get the same thing! you're gonna look so INTIMIDATING your opponents won't even TRY to kill you!
but hey what about the rabbit kit! hell yeah! now i know what you're thinking: "but earth you cant choose that kit that kit is for noobs!" you see, you cant be a noob if you're a freaking pro... but who cares i mean look at this kit its got 3 carrots and a useful potion, maybe one of those carrots gives you a special effect, nobody knows it hasn't ever happened or anything but this kit, this kit is YOUR kit man, it's the kit that YOU were BORN to choose.
But hey if none of thse get your games going there is ALWAYS the healer. "oh boy i need to heal better throw that lingering potion on the ground and hope the enemy wont notice it and wont run through it"
and finally if you want a kit to match your "PvP" name, your tryhard skin, your aggresive behaviour and your parents disappointment, PLEASE use this one.
step #2
see, most people think that teamwork and sharing diamonds is they key to winning eggwars games. they're amateurs. your ONLY focus should be on diamonds. just stare at the diamonds, love the diamonds, BECOME THE DIAMONDS like you are a 9 year old kid that builds everything out of diamonds on MCPE because "it's the best item so if i build my house out of it im gonna look cool". working about making plays and breaking eggs? thats for losers! and if you see your teammate breaking an egg with a diamond pickaxe, make sure you walk infront of him before he can mine it. because he's gonna **** it up and i know this, you know this, he knows this, so do everybody a favour and walk infront of him before he can mine it. just play like you're the only good player on that team, because, let's be honest, you probably are the only good player on that team...
step #3
"you see, once in a while, arrows will soar through the air in all of their glories, taking to the skies like an EAGLE, sometimes mistaken for a plane or superman. when the arrows are zipping through the clouds they're calling your name, they're saying: "play with us child, play with us forever in dreamland" they beckon you and you must not let the arrows down for the arrows are omnipotent and the arrows are omnipresent" -earth, new eggwars testament.
so that's what you're gonna do! never ask if your dream is obtainable. just purchase a bow and some arrows, when ever the arrows are calling your name. when @rubik_cube_man added the bow & arrows in eggwars in 2015, he didn't ask if it was possible, he just DID IT
so when the arrows are in the air and EVERYONE is already geared more than you are, you are gonna JUST DO IT! Always buy a bow when the arrows are in the air.
and if you don't have enough diamonds when the arrows are in the air, you must go to the villager, and you must BELIEVE that you can buy that bow & arrow.
step #4
do you know those toxic players you see once in a while?
if somebody fails an easy opportunity to break an egg, you're gonna give them "nice job breaking that egg <swearword>"
if somebody fails to protect the egg, you're gonna give them "good job on saving that egg <swearword>"
if YOU fail to protect the egg save you're gonna somehow blame it on your teammates!
and if you fail to protect the egg in solo, you're gonna somehow blame it on cubecraft!
you will roast everybody like the pigs that gave birth to them. if you have a ping over 8ms? talk about cubecraft literally being the WORST SERVER EVER and needs to buy premium serverspace in your moms basement, or you're gonna leave this server forever. trust me, they'll listen!
just remember, the chat is YOUR local dump and it is YOUR responsibility to provide the disgusting garbage
UH OH IT'S TIME FOR THE FIRE ROUND IT'S TIME TO MENTION A LOT OF THINGS REAL FAST THAT'LL MAKE YOU THE BEST AT EGGWARS!
#1: fail to protect the egg against a naked guy!
#2: skip leather in OP mode and try to get diamonds at mid, naked!
#3: join a game and go afk!
#4: actually enjoy the map campersdasea!
#5: refuse to listen to teammates!
#6: think your egg armour leather is better than prot 5 leather in OP mode!
#7: fight with an axe in OP mode!
#8: get a bow early game!
#9: do nothing the entire game and eliminate that one team that eliminated all other teams for you last!
#10: hog the generators!
#11: refuse to help your team!
#12: fall of a bridge when you are full iron!
#13: get spleefed in the most Obvious way possible!
#14: be that guy that keeps destroying bridges! because everyone knows thats useful!
or if you really wanna be a piece of crap, like you really, REALLY wanna be the biggest piece of crap: be that one guy that does nothing the entire game and tries to get full diamond while you and your friend are struggling to beat that last team and come "help" on the last split second you eliminated the last guy.
so that's it guys, you need to follow this guide step by step if you wanna be the best eggwars player there ever was.
and oh my god, please like, fav and subscribe :OO
disclaimer: this thread is made for FUN and is 100% sarcasm, any comments saying "but i play like that and you make FUN OF IT!?" stuff like that, will be ignored.
