Hello G's and G's, and NB P's! Are we doing okay on this excellent day? c:
So, I've been taking a poetry module this term, and have created an anthology of twelve poems. I can't share my final draft poems until they've been graded, but there are a few poems that didn't make the cut, and this is one of them - I thought I'd share it here, so ya'll could tell me how awful it is, and how smart I am for scrapping it from my final draft. It was inspired by the "Imagist Movement" of the 1910s, which basically aimed to write as briefly about objects or environments as possible - no filler words, no inherent structure or rhyme scheme; just a boring description, using as few words as possible (ironic, given how long this explanatory paragraph is). It's called "Ship."
Helios leaves the stage,
Glowing some minutes more
Behind horizon’s curtain.
Pearly cliffs, chiselled by seafoam,
Provide nest for the rails and gulls.
And the rhythmic slosh,
Massaging the breakwater rubble,
Silences a bicycle’s ring.
Like snow, silence falls
Upon the cobblestone bridge, burrowing between its cracks.
And the gentle lamplight,
At the bridge’s end,
Succumbs
To night.
The valley of glowing vessels lays upon the waves –
Their hulls penetrating!
Stockpiling the ocean’s spray.
CAWHHH!
A lone gull, mid-shrill,
Hangs from the tavern’s eave.
Revelry suppresses the window-frame’s rattle –
Silently violated! by gelid wind.
Six glowing windows,
Lathered with dew,
Expose the mist-wrapped inn.
And a seventh,
Dimmed by curtains,
Masks a lady’s delicates.
Beneath her balcony,
Two adjacent cigarettes
Shimmer on the porch.
HHHHMMMM!
The phantom of the ship,
Suffocated by fog,
Bellows its horn.
A pearly interior
Gleams from its hull,
Beneath Orion’s belt –
And Selene casts
Her grey net
Across the sky.
So, I've been taking a poetry module this term, and have created an anthology of twelve poems. I can't share my final draft poems until they've been graded, but there are a few poems that didn't make the cut, and this is one of them - I thought I'd share it here, so ya'll could tell me how awful it is, and how smart I am for scrapping it from my final draft. It was inspired by the "Imagist Movement" of the 1910s, which basically aimed to write as briefly about objects or environments as possible - no filler words, no inherent structure or rhyme scheme; just a boring description, using as few words as possible (ironic, given how long this explanatory paragraph is). It's called "Ship."
18:59:59
Helios leaves the stage,
Glowing some minutes more
Behind horizon’s curtain.
Pearly cliffs, chiselled by seafoam,
Provide nest for the rails and gulls.
And the rhythmic slosh,
Massaging the breakwater rubble,
Silences a bicycle’s ring.
19:59:59
Like snow, silence falls
Upon the cobblestone bridge, burrowing between its cracks.
And the gentle lamplight,
At the bridge’s end,
Succumbs
To night.
20:59:59
The valley of glowing vessels lays upon the waves –
Their hulls penetrating!
Stockpiling the ocean’s spray.
21:59:59
CAWHHH!
A lone gull, mid-shrill,
Hangs from the tavern’s eave.
Revelry suppresses the window-frame’s rattle –
Silently violated! by gelid wind.
22:59:59
Six glowing windows,
Lathered with dew,
Expose the mist-wrapped inn.
And a seventh,
Dimmed by curtains,
Masks a lady’s delicates.
Beneath her balcony,
Two adjacent cigarettes
Shimmer on the porch.
23:59:59
HHHHMMMM!
The phantom of the ship,
Suffocated by fog,
Bellows its horn.
A pearly interior
Gleams from its hull,
Beneath Orion’s belt –
And Selene casts
Her grey net
Across the sky.
