Hello everyone, today’s a special day. Tonight is Christmas Eve. Some of you may celebrate today, others may have to wait until tomorrow. I told you I was coming with something special and something I’ve never done before, well, this is it. After brainstorming a bit, I concluded to step out of my comfort zone. You all mean a lot to me, and I want to do something in return. As we all know, a new year comes with new resolutions, and that’s exactly why I’m here. I’ve made a list of the 3 things I did wrong in 2019 and want to improve in 2020. I hope I can help some of you and inspire you to do the same thing, because no matter your gender, age, height, weight or country you come from, everyone will benefit from this. These are in no particular order, so they’re all very important.
Not focussing on yourself
This one is a big one for me. I tend to put other people above me in almost every case. I barely said no, so I was always the victim of doing dirty work. It’s not that I was bullied nor was I used for slavery, but people began to understand I was bad at saying no so for things like “make a project with the boring kid of our class” or “hey could you do … or … for me?” I started realizing I was damaging myself by constantly doing what people want from me. I was constantly putting myself down to the point where I felt like they only liked me because I would do stuff for them. When that started to change in my mind, I found out who my true friends were and who was using me. Quick disclaimer, this does not mean you have to be rude to everyone and shouldn’t do a single thing from now on. You should still help your parents, be nice to your friends, etc. There’s a big difference between WILLING to do something, and being FORCED to do something. Aim for willing.
Another example is constantly comparing myself to other people. I want the hair of Alex Costa, the characteristics of Post Malone and the brain of Matt D’Avella. I quickly went from being inspired to being lost in my mind. I didn’t know what or who I wanted to be, I was constantly trying to find out how I can implement their benefits and goals into my life. Conclusion is, I wasn’t who I truly am, and I was just pretending to be someone. Consequence, people weren’t trusting me anymore. Remember this, you better have a few close friends where you can be yourself, than having thousands of friends, but constantly have to adjust yourself to their behavior. How much dopamine popularity might give you, is nothing compared to having real friends. At the end of the day, being the popular guy isn’t always going to take you far in life, it’s the people you surround yourself with.
Not going for your goals
We all have goals, they could even be small ones. A goal is something you want to accomplish in the short or long term, but above all, is something you want to remove from that list of yours. For example, a goal could be, studying for your driver’s license, finally putting work in that school project of yours, or when you dream big, having an amazing body or being a famous influencer (kind of the opposite of what I said in the previous paragraph). In my case, I usually tend to delay my goals every, single, time, over and over again to the point where I either have to do it the day before or have to combine it with other stuff I also delayed. You see, things won’t come naturally, you are the one who needs to put effort into them. Don’t delay something, instead, figure out how you can approach the situation and maybe speed up the process. The earlier you start, the better your results are and the lower your stress will be. I have to be honest, I start way too late with the monthly recaps and always finish them right on time. This is not the ideal way to work, because I put pressure on myself, on others and my work won’t be as detailed and refined compared to when I have all the time in the world to make it. DON’T PROCRASTINATE! For more information on that, you might want to check out Thomas Frank’s videos on YouTube, he makes amazing content about those kinds of topics.
What goes hand in hand with this, is basically what I like to interpret as, wasting my time. As most of us here, we probably rely on gaming a lot. A few will say “that’s not true!”, but if you can’t live a week without Minecraft, yes, then you are dependant on this. Try to make your daily tasks a main priority. I usually used to think that I could do everything last moment, but that’s not the case. When you come home, and you‘ve done your daily tasks like homework, a workout or even taking a shower and that’s all completed, game for a bit. If you don’t have a busy day, you’ll have plenty of free time left, but if you had a rough day and there’s no free time left, that means it wasn’t worth gaming that day in the first place, because you couldn’t complete your everyday tasks.
Tip: This is inspired by Matt D’Avella. When you have a long term goal you want to make a habit out of, try a 30-day challenge! Matt does tons of those on his channel, so that can give you some inspiration and motivation, but the main point is to get used to that new habit of yours. In my case, I’ll be starting January by waking up at 7 AM every single day and taking cold showers. Stick to the 30-day challenge, don’t give up, write down your thoughts, and I promise after those 30 days your body will adjust itself and your GOAL will become your HABIT!
Worrying too much about the future, learning to live with ups and downs
This one’s huge! Sure, you should plan things like doctor appointments and don’t forget about them or plan something else that you can’t forget. That’s all fine and not part of my conclusion, you mustn’t forget about those things. What I mean, is that our thoughts produce every single possible scenario in our brains before the action even took place. For example, you have your first job interview, instead of thinking “alright, this is gonna be the best interview I’ve ever done”, you start to think “what if I have stained armpits” or “what if I’m not even suited for the job and this wasn’t even worth it.” The last example is how most of us would think regularly, while we should strive for the first scenario. As NF would say: What you feed the brain will affect you in a powerful way. This is in many ways true. If you feed yourself with negativity and self-doubt, your brain will make a habit out of that. I concluded that life is made with ups and downs, no doubt about that. The issue is that I was scared when I was doing amazing. If I got a new girlfriend, the first thing I would do is question myself how long it’ll take this time before she leaves me. DON’T! Instead, LIVE IN THE MOMENT! Let everything happen naturally, don’t question yourself nor the future. You know you’ll have ups and downs, but a true warrior fights through the bad times and automatically earns the good times. You’re all worth so much, and I’ve seen this over the past couple of years. You all have your qualities, charms, and bad sides, but that’s what makes YOU unique. Go for it, live in the moment, and your brain will thank you.
This was it guys. Like I said, I mainly wanted to do this in return for everything you’ve done for me here. You might think it’s nothing, but getting genuine compliments as a mod is probably one of the best feelings ever. I hope I helped you guys out a bit with my mistakes of 2019 and hopefully, your 2020 will be better because of it. You can do whatever you want with it. You can ignore my tips, you can keep them in mind or you can already start thinking about how to implement them in your life.
Quickly coming back to the 30-day challenge. I want to make my list of 30-day challenges. If this thread gets reviewed pretty well and the support is outstanding, I might consider making a thread with a list of 12 30-day challenges to go through 2020. They'll consist of things you can do to better your life. You're free to participate or stay out of the challenges, but that's something I'll see in the future.
Thanks a lot for everything guys, Happy Holidays!
- Cyna
Not focussing on yourself
This one is a big one for me. I tend to put other people above me in almost every case. I barely said no, so I was always the victim of doing dirty work. It’s not that I was bullied nor was I used for slavery, but people began to understand I was bad at saying no so for things like “make a project with the boring kid of our class” or “hey could you do … or … for me?” I started realizing I was damaging myself by constantly doing what people want from me. I was constantly putting myself down to the point where I felt like they only liked me because I would do stuff for them. When that started to change in my mind, I found out who my true friends were and who was using me. Quick disclaimer, this does not mean you have to be rude to everyone and shouldn’t do a single thing from now on. You should still help your parents, be nice to your friends, etc. There’s a big difference between WILLING to do something, and being FORCED to do something. Aim for willing.
Another example is constantly comparing myself to other people. I want the hair of Alex Costa, the characteristics of Post Malone and the brain of Matt D’Avella. I quickly went from being inspired to being lost in my mind. I didn’t know what or who I wanted to be, I was constantly trying to find out how I can implement their benefits and goals into my life. Conclusion is, I wasn’t who I truly am, and I was just pretending to be someone. Consequence, people weren’t trusting me anymore. Remember this, you better have a few close friends where you can be yourself, than having thousands of friends, but constantly have to adjust yourself to their behavior. How much dopamine popularity might give you, is nothing compared to having real friends. At the end of the day, being the popular guy isn’t always going to take you far in life, it’s the people you surround yourself with.
Not going for your goals
We all have goals, they could even be small ones. A goal is something you want to accomplish in the short or long term, but above all, is something you want to remove from that list of yours. For example, a goal could be, studying for your driver’s license, finally putting work in that school project of yours, or when you dream big, having an amazing body or being a famous influencer (kind of the opposite of what I said in the previous paragraph). In my case, I usually tend to delay my goals every, single, time, over and over again to the point where I either have to do it the day before or have to combine it with other stuff I also delayed. You see, things won’t come naturally, you are the one who needs to put effort into them. Don’t delay something, instead, figure out how you can approach the situation and maybe speed up the process. The earlier you start, the better your results are and the lower your stress will be. I have to be honest, I start way too late with the monthly recaps and always finish them right on time. This is not the ideal way to work, because I put pressure on myself, on others and my work won’t be as detailed and refined compared to when I have all the time in the world to make it. DON’T PROCRASTINATE! For more information on that, you might want to check out Thomas Frank’s videos on YouTube, he makes amazing content about those kinds of topics.
What goes hand in hand with this, is basically what I like to interpret as, wasting my time. As most of us here, we probably rely on gaming a lot. A few will say “that’s not true!”, but if you can’t live a week without Minecraft, yes, then you are dependant on this. Try to make your daily tasks a main priority. I usually used to think that I could do everything last moment, but that’s not the case. When you come home, and you‘ve done your daily tasks like homework, a workout or even taking a shower and that’s all completed, game for a bit. If you don’t have a busy day, you’ll have plenty of free time left, but if you had a rough day and there’s no free time left, that means it wasn’t worth gaming that day in the first place, because you couldn’t complete your everyday tasks.
Tip: This is inspired by Matt D’Avella. When you have a long term goal you want to make a habit out of, try a 30-day challenge! Matt does tons of those on his channel, so that can give you some inspiration and motivation, but the main point is to get used to that new habit of yours. In my case, I’ll be starting January by waking up at 7 AM every single day and taking cold showers. Stick to the 30-day challenge, don’t give up, write down your thoughts, and I promise after those 30 days your body will adjust itself and your GOAL will become your HABIT!
Worrying too much about the future, learning to live with ups and downs
This one’s huge! Sure, you should plan things like doctor appointments and don’t forget about them or plan something else that you can’t forget. That’s all fine and not part of my conclusion, you mustn’t forget about those things. What I mean, is that our thoughts produce every single possible scenario in our brains before the action even took place. For example, you have your first job interview, instead of thinking “alright, this is gonna be the best interview I’ve ever done”, you start to think “what if I have stained armpits” or “what if I’m not even suited for the job and this wasn’t even worth it.” The last example is how most of us would think regularly, while we should strive for the first scenario. As NF would say: What you feed the brain will affect you in a powerful way. This is in many ways true. If you feed yourself with negativity and self-doubt, your brain will make a habit out of that. I concluded that life is made with ups and downs, no doubt about that. The issue is that I was scared when I was doing amazing. If I got a new girlfriend, the first thing I would do is question myself how long it’ll take this time before she leaves me. DON’T! Instead, LIVE IN THE MOMENT! Let everything happen naturally, don’t question yourself nor the future. You know you’ll have ups and downs, but a true warrior fights through the bad times and automatically earns the good times. You’re all worth so much, and I’ve seen this over the past couple of years. You all have your qualities, charms, and bad sides, but that’s what makes YOU unique. Go for it, live in the moment, and your brain will thank you.
This was it guys. Like I said, I mainly wanted to do this in return for everything you’ve done for me here. You might think it’s nothing, but getting genuine compliments as a mod is probably one of the best feelings ever. I hope I helped you guys out a bit with my mistakes of 2019 and hopefully, your 2020 will be better because of it. You can do whatever you want with it. You can ignore my tips, you can keep them in mind or you can already start thinking about how to implement them in your life.
Quickly coming back to the 30-day challenge. I want to make my list of 30-day challenges. If this thread gets reviewed pretty well and the support is outstanding, I might consider making a thread with a list of 12 30-day challenges to go through 2020. They'll consist of things you can do to better your life. You're free to participate or stay out of the challenges, but that's something I'll see in the future.
Thanks a lot for everything guys, Happy Holidays!
- Cyna
